In the hushed shadows dimly lit studio, amidst the whispers of satin and soft sighs of music, I find myself standing at a crossroads of fate and inevitability. It is here, in this sacred space where dreams take flight and emotions find their voice, that I must bid adieu to the dance floor – a farewell born not out of choice but out of necessity. Dance has always been my outlet of expression, my solace in times of joy and sorrow, and my constant companion through life’s twists and turns. Life has always a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way. Since last few years, I have been grappling with many medical issues that have gradually taken their toll on my ability to dance. But I always have been fighting them out with all the positive hope that one day things might get back to normal. Despite countless efforts and unwavering determination to overcome all those challenges with positivity, it has become increasingly clear that continuing to dance in the way I once did would jeopardize my health and well-being. Even after multiple health issues and surgeries, I have always pushed myself beyond these challenges and hurdles. I always believe that there is a saturation point for everything we do, face or feel in our lives. May be for my dance journey, that saturation point has come. What another best day I would have got than today, the International Dance Day, to finally present the epilogue of my dance journey?
My journey through dance has always been a symphony of sensations. It was the entire support system for all my emotions throughout my life. As I stand before the world today, my heart heavy with the weight of unspoken farewells, I am reminded that even the most beautiful melodies must one day reach their final note. It is not for the lack of love or dedication that I take my leave, but rather for the sake of a body worn thin by the rigors of time and circumstance. I never had thought that I will be able to accept this fact and agree that it is finally the time I bid farewell to my dance. It’s difficult to put in words that myriad emotions I am experiencing as I come to terms with this reality. There is profound sense of loss for something that has been such an integral part of my life for so long. There is frustration and disappointment at the cruel twist of fate that has led me to this point. And yet, there’s also a glimmer of acceptance and gratitude for the countless memories, lessons, and friendships that dance has bestowed upon me. While this may mark the end of my dance journey as I once knew it, I refuse to let it be the end of my connection to the world of dance.
I mourn not only the loss of what was, but also the dreams of what could have been – the performances left unperformed, the choreography left unwritten, the stories left untold. And yet, in the shadow of this sorrow, there blooms a quiet gratitude for the memories that will forever linger in the corners of my soul. To all my fellow dancers, I would like to extend my deepest gratitude. You were more than companions on this journey; you were the kindred spirits, bound by a shared love for the art form that has shaped us all. Though our paths may diverge, know that the light will continue to guide me through the darkness. And to all my Gurus, whose wisdom illuminated the path before me and whose guidance lifted me to heights I never thought possible, I offer my eternal thanks. You saw potential where many others saw limitations, and for that, I am forever in your debt. Though I may no longer grace the stages with my performance, your lessons will remain etched upon my heart. To all those who may find themselves facing unexpected challenges on their own dance journeys, I urge you to hold onto that passion until the last saturation point. Dance is not just about what happens on the stage; it’s about the joy, the connection, and the expression that it brings to our lives. So as I bid farewell to the dance floor, I do so with a heavy heart yet hopeful, knowing that this is not the end but merely the beginning of a new chapter in the dance of life. And though my body may no longer move to the rhythm of the music, my soul will dance on, forever entwined with the heartbeat of the universe.
As I pen down the final pages of my dance journey, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and the unwavering support and encouragement that had fueled my passion every step of the way. To my dearest family and friends, you have been the guiding stars in my dance universe, illuminating my path with love, belief, and endless inspiration. I thank each one of you for standing by me through every stumble and every battle. Your boundless love has given me the strength to chase my passions fearlessly, knowing that I always have a safe harbor to return to. To every person of my dance tribe, thank you for being the heartbeat of my journey. Your vibe during the performances on stage, cheers from the sidelines, your applause after every performance, and your gentle nudges to push beyond the limits have lifted me higher than I ever thought possible. To each one of you who has shared in my joy, celebrated my victories, and lifted me up in the moments of doubt, I am forever grateful. You have woven the threads of your love and support into the very fabric of my being, shaping me into the dancer and the person I am today. As this chapter draws to close, know that your presence will forever linger in the echoes of my dance. Though our paths may diverge, the memories we have created together will dance on in my heart, a timeless reminder of the beautiful symphony we composed as one.
Though I may no longer be able to dance physically, my love for this art form will remain as strong as ever. I will continue to support and celebrate this incredible talent and creativity of dancers around the world, whether from the sidelines or through other means of expressions. As I embark on the new adventures of my life, I would carry the spirit of dance with me, letting its rhythm guide me through every step of life’s dance floor. Wishing all the inspirational dancers in the world a very Happy International Dance Day!!!
With the deepest gratitude and boundless love to everyone around the world, here is the Epilogue of My Dance Journey!!!
Is it wrong to be easily available for everyone around you? For the last 40 years, this question had raised in my mind many a times but I always calmed down myself saying there is nothing wrong in being so when you value people and relationships more than anything else. I am sure just like me, you also might have experienced this confusion at least once in your life at some point of time, isn’t it? Is it fine to be too much available for everyone all the time? This question might have mixed answers or reviews based on individual’s experience in their own lives. But no one would deny to the fact that excessiveness of anything might harm you or hurt your emotions. I am not writing this today in a generic sense but it is all about what I have experienced and gone through in my entire life of 40 years. It’s not that I have realized this now, but maybe it has reached to a maximum level of tolerance within myself. Here, I would not generalize the things with respect to the topic but purely share my thoughts and experience about it which I have been feeling from too long. This is purely my personal perception and not intended to hurt anyone else’s emotions or thoughts with respect to this.
I remember when I was in my school days, I used to be first to jump into any of my friends’ problems, even before they asked for help. It was not because I would have got some benefit out of it but that was my nature. I never used to feel nice seeing anyone in pain and used to do whatever I could to make them feel better. It might be genetic as I have seen my mom being so with everyone in the family, irrespective of how they treat her. I can never match her level of kindness and humanity for sure but at least some part of it was into me. There were times in school when I helped my friends with few things which made them happy, irrespective of sometimes I ended up hurting my own emotions in the process. But never quoted this to anyone, rather than I convinced myself that my friends are happy so should I be. Years passed and this nature of me became a habit. Few times, it really did give me wonderful returns in the form of affection and respect for what I did for people around without any selfish reasons. This really made me feel very special at those times. But it does not happen all the time and yes, this is the bitter truth of life that people are more likely to take you for granted if you are easily available and accessible to them all the time. No hard feelings on anyone, but if I don’t vent it now, I would never be able to gain my self-esteem back in my life. There have been many times in my life in past where I was in pain and wanted someone next to me to understand this, pacify me and give me little confidence that they are available for me. Many of my friends always say this from many years but in practical, does this really happen? May be happened once or twice, but not definitely all the time whenever I needed them to be with me. Every time I had been in pain or when I expected someone to be just there for me no matter what, everyone was busy with their own priorities. I don’t say that’s wrong, everyone has right to prioritize things as per their needs and wish but the feeling that no one is there for me when I need someone has been hitting me hard for years and still continues to be so.
I always feel and share this with my closest friends around that people are available for me as per their convenience and not really when I need someone. It is always about their priorities, their possibilities, their issues, their responsibilities and the list would go on. And after all these, if they have some free time, they would come to me to check if I exist or not. Be it family or friends, I agree that no one can be there with you in person all the time. I am not that immature as well to expect this. I am more concerned about people being there for me emotionally. Sometimes, I am forced to think don’t I have a family, don’t I have responsibilities, possibilities, priorities in my life? Then why am I not able to give these as excuses to the people and just make myself available for everyone all the time? Is it a strength or a weakness? May be a strength to them but weakness for me as it has not gained me anything apart from heartbreaks and pain in my life.
The phone rings, and I pick it up right away. I get a message on my phone, irrespective of where I am or what am I doing, I reply back to people as soon as I see their message. Someone comes and asks me for a favor or some help, I just say yes and just jump in. And yes guys, I have been doing this for last so many years and nothing has changed the way it made me feel every time. But how long is the question? Why am I not doing anything about it is the question I always put to myself? But again, the same weakness of convincing myself saying people and relation comes into picture. Being available to a friend or someone in need or willing to pitch in a difficult situation is a good thing, at least I have always been taught the same by my elders. But constantly living my life this way comes with a cost is what they missed teaching me and I had learned it many a times in my life myself and that too in a very hard way. One thing I have learned in this process, which is the mere fact of life it that you cannot be everything to everyone. So, people are invariably left disappointed and so am I. I don’t say that there is no one there for me, it’s just about who understands your inner feelings and make themselves available for you at that point of time. When I say being available for me doesn’t always seem physical but might be available emotionally as well. I might not seem to be fair to all but as I said I am putting everything here which is purely my perception towards things and moreover my personal experiences which made me feel so, that’s it.
In today’s world, everyone is expected to do it all. But the truth is that we are a human being – a mere mortal and that our resources are finite. We need to make ourselves understand our own limits. And when we are dealing with a limited quantity of anything, we need to plan how we are going to use that thing to its maximum potential. In other words, it’s time to evaluate your priorities and what truly is (and isn’t) a good use of your limited resources. I have understood this hard reality of life that if I am making myself easily available and accessible to all, gradually at one point of time, I would lose my importance, and this would shatter my confidence and break me inside completely. May be finally, after fighting with these emotions for so many years, I can now say that I am ready to accept these and pull myself back from being easily available to others. I know this is not easy for me to change something which I have been doing for so long, but nothing comes free of cost, when we have a strong will to achieve something for us, we need to work hard towards it and earn that thing. Self-esteem also is one important and essential thing for me in my life and hence am glad that at least I am now willing to put the efforts and earn this back into my life with a positive mindset.
I need to understand what’s not there in my lane. I know I have commitments I have responsibilities to uphold. I am bound to abide by the agreed-upon rules of the relationships in my life and to follow through on the promises I have already made. I need to learn to be my own best friend. I would never want to see my friend suffering under the burden of endless to do lists. And I certainly wouldn’t be the person who dumps task after task on that friend – making her feel bad about her limitations while not expressing gratitude for what she’s done above and beyond the call of duty. So why do I do that to myself? I feel it’s high time that I start treating myself the way I treat my dear ones. I should put myself back on the list of my priorities. And above everything else, it is important to teach people how they treat me. When I would value myself, my time, my priorities and my well-being, people will be more inclined to treat me as valuable. I know that this would not be easy to achieve but I have always believed that there is no such thing which can’t be achieved. It’s only about putting the right efforts in a right way and having a belief that we can do that. Of course, in the process of achieving this utmost satisfaction for myself, I might have to deal with some boundary busters in my life. These are the people who truly don’t care about my needs, my limitations, my priorities or my emotions. Initially, it might really be difficult for me to say a no to someone when I actually feel like saying yes as I am habituated to it. But again, I need to understand that the solution might not be necessarily easy for someone with empathy to do. I should start learning to convince myself that the other person’s reaction to my perfectly reasonable no is their problem and I shouldn’t be cursing myself about it.
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries in your life. Your time and energy are precious and you get to decide how you use them. You treat people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept” – Anna Taylor.
I love this quote by Anna Taylor and I can so relate to myself in the present state of mind. I don’t want people or relationships in my life have any kind of negative impact because of my emotional and weak state of mind. I just want to allow myself to set up positive and healthy boundaries. To say no to what does not align with my values and to say yes to what does. I am clear to set boundaries about having the courage to love myself even if I take a risk of disappointing others, at least sometimes if not all the time. I don’t deny that few people in my life really push me hard to be best of myself all the time. They understand and bear all my tantrums and mood swings because of these emotional break downs in my life for various reasons. I still say and believe that people and relationships are more important to me than other things in my life, but I would still take a back step sometimes to define my self-esteem and self-valued emotions for my internal happiness.
Most of time, in general, people focus on the physical health and don’t give that high importance to the emotional well-being for themselves or others. But, friends, let me tell you one greatest lesson life has thrown on me multiple times. Being emotionally strong and healthy is equally important as the physical health. People call it mental health, but I define it as emotional health as this seems to be more positive for myself. Emotional health is not a destination, but a continuous process. It’s all about how I drive my life and not where I am intended to go. Everyone has wounds that never show on the body, but they are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. I have seen that many people hesitate in telling others about their emotional state as openly as they talk about the physical health issues. Maybe, even, I was one of those people until recent times. Though I have had anxiety and emotional break down issues for quite few times in my past, I have never openly spoken about it to anyone and struggled to fight and overcome it myself.
Now as I enter into my 40s, I realize that it is ok not to be ok all the time. Our emotions, our feelings, our strengths or our weaknesses are always not in our favor and that’s absolutely fine. I don’t need to hesitate or feel bad about talking these things openly. Recently, my mindset has been really behaving weird. I don’t know if these are the outcomes of the hormonal changes in the body because of the age or the result of few emotional imbalances I have been facing in few relationships of life. But everything coming together at a time, it has been hitting me really hard. Last few months have not been easy on me to face few unexpected incidents in my life, few expected heartbreaks, some sudden developments and few not so expected twists in my life. I will not say that everything happened was negative or painful. Few bonds and attachments have given meaning to my existing void life but again the influence of the other strong negative emotions make me fear of losing these as well going ahead. They say right, that mind doesn’t have heart and the heart can’t think practically as it does not have brain. This is funny but true. Few statements like we should not have expectations from people, and all are good to just read in books. But in reality, it actually doesn’t work out. After all we all humans right. So, when we are emotionally connected to someone, it is but obvious that we would have at least minimum expectations from that person. I feel if there are no emotions and expectations in any kind of emotional relationship, what is the purpose of being in it. I have personally experienced this many a times in my life. At one point of time, I used to tell people that having lot of expectations would not give them anything than just pain and heartbreaks. Of course, this was at the time when I was not that emotionally invested in things or people around me and hence it was easy for me to give suggestions to others. But if I talk about the present me, I will not hesitate to accept the fact that my emotional state of mind is not the same anymore. May be because of the circumstances or the life experiences or the age factor, I have surprisingly turned out to be sensitive and emotional towards few things and few relationships. Why? I am still doing my research to find out the answer to this and would surely share with you all if at all I am able to analyze the same. Jokes apart, but the present situation in which I see myself is not so positive and favoring one. This change in my mindset has made me get into the emotional zone most of the times. But that doesn’t again mean that I am connected to everyone around me. There is always this comfort zone for each one of us which makes us connect with those people emotionally. So is the case with me as well.
You might think what is the problem if I am connected with someone emotionally, right? The answer to this question might differ from person to person. For me, I would say it is both half and half. It means sometimes it might be good and healthy for me but sometimes, it does tear apart the peace of mind for me as well as for the opposite person. I am still trying to understand few basic realities of the mindset of people around me. If I put my 100% in any relationship from my end, is it unfair to expect at least a bit from the other person? I think it’s a fair expectation or else the relationship can be seen as just a one sided one and there is no point of having it at all. When I say relationship, it can be anything and not just any specific one. It is like only if both the hands come together in equal proportion and in the same direction, we can clap. I feel only if there is equal amount of willingness and interest from both the sides, there will be a possibility to have a genuine relationship or else it will be for just namesake or may be carried for temporary happiness of either or both of them. I might again be blunt in saying this but am sure no one would deny to accept it. Can you have same feelings or same level of emotions with two people? My answer would be a straight no. The intensity or the intention would always defer. I always tell people around not to travel on two boats at the same time. It will not help you to travel for a long time in that way. It might sometime be difficult but important to choose any one boat and yes, this would only happen if you are clear of what you want and what your priority is. I have of course never experienced this for myself but have seen people coming to me going through this confusion. This always made me think if they are in a relationship already or like someone at some corner of their heart, why would they develop the same feeling towards me and vice versa. It is too confusing for me to decide what is what but as I have never put myself in this box, might be difficult for me to think of a possible solution for this. So, I just could suggest the other people to think and do what would make them happy. I would say it is always good to follow your heart when it is related to your emotions and feelings. No suggestions or advices would help you to get a clear picture of what is what and moreover you are the best person to understand what your heart needs. Again, all this what I have been talking about is not in a generic sense and I am penning down only my real time experiences in life. All this has not been easy for me. I am still going through some difficult battles within myself while dealing with these feelings, emotions, bondings, relations, pain and the list goes on.
After all these, I have broken down emotionally which further shattered my confidence levels, and I started feeling more anxious and depressed. I could see unimaginable mood swings and the battle of emotions inside me, which sometimes am unable to even explain it to anyone. People who really are very close to me and do understand me in and out are no doubt able to make it and are trying to make me feel better. But again, the question is how long would they do, can they be available or accessible for me day in day out all the time? No. It is definitely not possible for anyone, and I need to accept this no matter what. Above, I was talking about respecting the boundaries of other people right. But lately, I realize that I have not been following this practically myself. Then, what right do I have to tell this to others when I myself am not following them. Even after knowing all these realities of life, I still continued to have expectations from everyone and when those were not met, I started putting myself in lot of pain. Because of all this, I was hurting myself and others as well. I had no clue whom to talk to about all this, who will understand even if I talk about all this and who can help me pull me out of all these things? All I knew was I am fine not fine and needed help. One day suddenly I decided to just go and see a therapist. That was not an easy decision, but I had to do this for myself, if not for anyone else in the world. After couple of therapy sessions with my therapist, I realized that I am not able to be fair and real in front of her. Then, what is the point of spending so much of time and money was one doubt in my mind. But as a passing cloud, it did help me to an extent to suppress my emotions and feel better temporarily at that point of time. But after few days, once I got used to being fine and normal, the same cycle started repeating. The same set of emotions and expectations kept popping up in my mind and were bothering me in and out. This made me behave weirdly with people around and sometimes, it made them feel upset about it. In this whole process, I realized that neither I am being happy with myself, nor I am allowing others to have a reason to be happy with me. They say that a real heartbreak changes people and not necessarily always in a negative way. Few emotions give us pain at that moment but help us to get more stronger going forward. And this is what exactly happened with me. Sometimes painful things can teach the lessons that we didn’t think we needed to know.
But in this process of this self-healing and self-managing, I understand one thing very clearly. If we tune our mind as per what we want to do, it would surely follow the instructions. The only thing we need to do is put the right kind of efforts for the right amount of time. This might not happen overnight and might take long time but never mind, as at the end, it will always be a win-win situation.
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present” – Marianne Williamson. It’s quite easy to get caught up in the negative emotions associated with bad things that happen to us. But it is really important for each one of us to accept the situation and move on with a smile on our face. Put it behind us and prove to the world that we are more than OKAY. We are strong and amazing. A smile can really empower us. It can cause our brain to release happy chemicals that would make us feel good and help us move on from a negative situation. A smile is the best thing we can do for ourselves after we accept the situation. I have promised myself, no matter what I will not let others’ actions define my happiness going forward. I would have my own set of strong reasons to define my own happiness in life. Life is very unpredictable. Only today is mine and I really don’t know what tomorrow has for me. I cannot keep crying for something which might never happen at all in life. I have come to a point where if people value me, I am happy and if they don’t, still I want to be happy. If someone talks to me, I will happily talk and if someone does not want to talk, I will happily take a back step. If someone messages me, I will reply and if they don’t, that’s still fine. May be, gradually I will get used to not getting those messages and calls as I expect and then I would stop waiting for those. I am learning to control my thoughts, practice self-care and self-love, develop more kindness and compassion and above everything else, become a new ME!
An Epiphany is the sudden awareness or realization that a person gains through any specific experience in life. I am sure every one of us might have experienced such moments in life which might have changed our life completely. Earlier, I never believed that this is possible but lately I started believing that we do experience such epiphany moments in our life and trust me, it impacts our life in a huge way. In an epiphany moment, we can either sink or swim. It depends on our mind set and perception towards the emotions generated by that epiphany moment of our life. In other words, epiphany moment is one which changes your perception towards something in life and after that, your life is no more the same. It creates a different magic and doubles your energy towards the life. Does this seem like any fairytale or a movie scene to you? No wonder, coz even I used to think the same until I have experienced this magic in my life. I started believing that epiphanies are the big moments that help make sense of our life, and they have ripple effects that are true for everyone, and not just us. Life is too unpredictable. When I say this, it is not just re-iterating the quote but sharing the experience of life. In these many years of personal experience with the game called life, I have seen and experienced all kinds of phases. Every difficult phase in life had given me terror but I always somehow got the courage to face it and overcome it. It is so true when they say that life just goes on. It never pauses or stops, no matter what it just keeps going and so do we. We might experience a difficult phase or situation in life or might be leading a completely tough life for years, but still this should not stop us from moving ahead.
I believe that life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly, but merely to be lived boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly and magically. If we believe in magic, we’ll live a magical life. If we believe our life is defined by narrow limits, we’ve suddenly made those beliefs real. An epiphany moment is the one which creates that magic in your life. It might be a moment with yourself, your family, your friends, a moment at your workplace, or may be with some unexpected person or an incident which just changes every bit of your life after that magical moment. To identify or believe in such magical moments of life, it is important for us to believe in our heart that we are meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles. The moment you understand and accept the reality of life, you tend to focus on tiny tiny miracles hidden in life. Have you ever experienced any situation in your life where you have few people who have been present in your life since many years but they were not present in the closest circle of your life or had any major influence on you? But all of a sudden, you start feeling that they are a very important part of your life and your life has become more beautiful by their close presence in it. Or, have you ever felt that the work you do everyday which has become a major part of your mechanical life and suddenly one day at a particular point, you feel this is the work you love to do and you see yourself giving your best at it? Have you ever experienced a phase where you felt that life has been tough at you and you are tired of living the same old tough life and suddenly there is something that happens in your life which gives you a positive hope and you start living your tough life happily or may be you start thinking of changing this tough life into a happier one? If yes, then these are those small magical epiphany moments of your lives which gives you a hope towards a better and happier tomorrow.
Many a times we feel that life has never been the way we had imagined it to be and get upset because of not meeting those expectations in life. But if you think deep on this thought, it is important for us to analyze, realize and understand that life might give us hundreds of reasons to worry and get upset with it but it will also give you one strong reason to be happy and feel blessed and that one reason is enough for us to change our life into a happier place to live in. It is just that we need to identify and understand what that one reason is. It might be in form of a person, passion, work or a responsibility. Life never fails to give us options at every stage of our journey but it is we who don’t put efforts to see them or realize that they are the best ones for us and that they might change our life forever. Once we realize this and are sure about what we feel and identify that magical epiphanies of our life, there will never be looking back again to the darker side of the life. Life will suddenly seem to be like the best and nothing less than a fairytale. These epiphanies are ideas, answers, but they are also questions. They are questions, that when asked, create a shift that you can feel undoing limiting beliefs. The moment of epiphany is a beautiful gift in life. Who does not like gifts, right? A small child residing within each one of us gets excited on the name of gift. Realizing that there is some special quality within us that shines brightly or that there is someone very special in our life who makes all the efforts in the world to bring one smile on our face and is happy even if he/she does not get anything in return other than that smile is definitely a best gift life can give us and it is no doubt a rewarding one. This feeling of insight can be the lantern we hold to light our way. I still remember the years of feeling aimless and carrying all the other emotions that tag along. I remember the vagueness of partially seeing or feeling that I was more than what I actually was. But like so many of us, I couldn’t quite cut through the fog and it was disheartening and frustrating. So when I finally started having these moments of epiphany in my life, it’s almost undeniable and irreversibly motivating to see the best change in my life. Realizing what is the most special gift or ability can lead us to discovering a life filled with full of love and happiness. And this is definitely a life changing experience. Have you ever felt that life isn’t fair? Well, that’s true sometimes and at some point of life, each one of us might agree to this thought. But after experiencing all the magic life has given me, I feel we can make it fair, if we try enough for it. Sometimes, we carry on with our lives blind to certain injustices. But the day when we realize that something isn’t okay and we should do something about it, is the day when we find our potential for powerful change. I would like to tell each one of you out there to experience these epiphany moments in your life but I would only hope that your epiphany is morally clear and does no harm to anyone. Because, this epiphany moments can make us brave, empowered and unstoppable at times.
There are ultimately two choices in life – To fight it or to embrace it. If you fight it, you will lose but if your embrace it, you become one with it and you will live the life to the best possible way. I have learned a best lesson through the experiences life has shown me that it is important to embrace your individuality. Love what you love without worrying about the judgement. You might have limitations on your actions but you don’t have any limitations on your emotions or on the way you feel for someone or something in your life which makes you happy. We must travel our own journey at our own pace; should not rush the process or assume that we have to accept someone else’s choices for our life. Keep all your worries aside and just follow the path your heart takes you. Remember, worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow but it empties today of its strength. It is required for all of us to understand and agree to the point that life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. We are not suppose to resist them coz that only creates sorrow. We need to let the reality be the reality. We need to let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. If there is something which is happening in our life naturally then we should accept it as it is meant to be in our life. If you have a strong will of something to happen in your life, don’t wait for the opportunity but rather create an opportunity and put your efforts in making it happen as your happiness lies in it. Take small risks, face the challenges, overcome your fears, get inspired by others, have the focus on your goals, be confident about yourself, feel blessed and embrace every moment of your life.
Sometimes, circumstances in our life make us feel that despite all the hard work we’re doing, we’ve got nothing to show for it. There are days when all we ever encounter are roadblocks, preventing us from moving forward. The moments when our dreams seem so out of reach make us wonder if it’s truly worth pursuing or fighting for. However, the challenges we face along the way are not meant to make us quite and just spend the rest of our days on the sidelines, being better about life. The challenges strewn on our paths are meant to test our mettle, to see if we’re made of stronger stuff. It is very normal to feel anxious when we’re dealing with life or when we are pursuing our goals. That moment of the anxiety is the time when most people quit and later they regret doing so. Many of us might have experienced similar situations in our lives at some point of time. It is very important for each one of us to develop the positive thinking towards such situations. I am sure, many of you, like me, can corelate the above quote with our lives. In many such testing circumstances, we give up thinking why such difficult things are happening in our lives but how many of us really think on the positive perception of this that what we get to learn out of such challenges? I wouldn’t say that it is easy to stay positive all the time during any challenging phases in life but definitely we can tune our mind slowly towards the positive side of it. When we start changing our thoughts, am sure we will change our world in return. Our mind is a powerful tool. When we fill it with all the positive thoughts, our life will start to change.
Our key to transforming anything lies in our ability to reframe it. Hence it is important for each one of us to take responsibility for our own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands. There are problems, difficulties and challenges in each one of our lives but remember, when life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars. I have always followed one principal in my life and trust me, it has worked wonders for me. It says, ” Whenever life puts you in tough situations, don’t say, “Why Me?” Instead say, “Try Me”. It means life is full of blessings and troubles, but it is up to us which influences our life more. It all depends on our perception towards life. We can be happy that life has given us many blessings for which we can be thankful and happy or we can feel upset, sad and get demotivated for the troubles we face in the journey of life. What is that you focus more on? The more you focus on anything, the more it will influence your life.
My Reframing Mantra
The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. Have gratitude towards whatever you have in your life. Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration moving you from negative energy to positive. I have always believed in this mantra and I feel this positive energy has helped me face all the difficult and impossible situations in my life. Not only facing those situations, but it also helped me overcoming each of those hurdles in my life and standing back stronger than ever. Since my childhood, I have been very active in sports and cultural activities. Dance and Badminton always topped the list. Whenever I used to be on stage dancing to my favorite tunes or holding the badminton racquet during a match, I used to be my best with loads of positivity and confidence. These two became the most important part of my life until my life took an unexpected turn with some medical issues during my college days. I had to give a pause to my passions but had a hope that I would soon get back to that positivity of my life. But the life had some other fate planned for me. The medical complications never stopped and I had to continue living with those challenges for a very long time. No doubt, this had disturbed me a lot as I did not have a break with these medical challenges and had to continuously depend on the medication all the time. One after the other, without any link to the previous one, every few months, I was facing some new challenge with my health. I was prepared for a short pause to my regular activities but never expected that my body will stop supporting me to get back to my original state of being so active and confident. Not only that, I had to be on some or the other medication for multiple health concerns but had to undergo multiple surgeries because of those complications. I myself can’t believe that I was away from my passions for more than 10 years of my life. If I turn back to that period of my life, I cannot see my original self. This went on and on until around 2015. That was the time when I got a job in Novartis Healthcare based at Hyderabad and my life gave me another opportunity to reframe myself and get back to life by getting back to my first love “Dance”. There was never a moment of dark in life after that. All the negativity which had been filled in my body and mind due to the health concerns for those many years had started vanishing slowly and I started gaining back my confidence again. This was the best opportunity life has given me to reframe myself and try to find my original self once again. When life gives us a second chance, we should give our best shot. I did the same and gradually I worked upon myself and tried to gain back the lost confidence and started believing in myself once again. This was no less than a miracle. I have always believed in fortitude and resilience as these two are the only things that have helped me to come back stronger every time life had turned me down.
The aura of the medical challenges never stopped, but this time, I did not let my confidence go down with those challenges. By now, I had become quite an expert in handling medical emergencies with all the practical experience has had given me. Few years later, I also brought back my another love into my life. Don’t go too far thinking about it or make any assumptions, I am just talking about “Badminton”. I started playing badminton with my brother every day in our community. Slowly but finally life was on track again. I was enjoying every bit of my life to the fullest without worrying about any concerns in my life or thinking about what would happen tomorrow in my life. The road to success is always under construction. This is so true, at least in my case. When everything seemed perfect with life, another big storm passed my life and everything was blurred in front of me. This time, the challenge was with my knee and the situation got worse and hence had to go for back to back 2 surgeries, the first one being a minor one but the second one was a major one. Doctor had warned me that I might not be able to dance or play the game again as the condition of the knee was worse. This had not only shaken my confidence but I was devastated. But as there was no alternative, I planned and got both the surgeries done in the gap of 3 months. The second one was actually quite a major one which required me to be on bed completely for 3 months. I was not allowed to keep my leg on floor for these 3 months. I had to take the helper of a walker and a person to walk around on one leg. I could not even lift my leg few inches above the bed for these 3 months. The fear of what if I would feel the same way for the rest of my life broke me inside completely. For the very first time to my knowledge, I cried to my mother about how helpless I was feeling and that slowly I was loosing my confidence and hope to get back to normal life again. But do you people know what is the best part of life? It is when your family understands you as a friend and your friends support you as your family. This was yet again proved in my life. My family and friends never stopped believing in me and kept on motivating me to fight with the situation. They gave me the courage to face the challenges with much positivity and made me believe that I am a strong woman and I definitely can win over this.
Self-Confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, the magic starts happening. With all the confidence my close ones had given me, I started working towards myself and started recovering gradually. It took me around 6 months for me to start walking without any support of a person or a walker. But in these 6 months, my weight went up 2 times. Though my doctor gave me permission to walk normally, drive my car and to do other normal activities without much stress, the first thing he told me about my weight management. Now this was another big task for me as I could not do heavy exercises to reduce my weight as my leg was not yet ready to bear too much of weight. Having a strong will and desire is half the battle and probably the bigger half. I was determined towards my goal and starting working upon myself every single day. The journey is definitely not easy but when you start seeing the positive outcomes for all your hard work, the hardest journey also feels positive. It has been 4 months since I started putting my double efforts towards my transformation journey and am proud that I could come down 9 Kgs by following all the advices my diet and fitness coaches give me. I am not stopping my journey here, as there is a lot to be worked upon and I would surely reach my goal. The best part in this fitness journey is that I have again started dancing and playing badminton daily. What else can I expect from this life.
When you are determined towards achieving a goal, there is no scope for excuses. There is no possibility of a “try” in such situations, either you do or you don’t. The amount of efforts you put will decide your closeness towards your goal. Remember, there will be obstacles, there will be doubters, there will be mistakes. But with all the hard work, there will be no limits. The only thing that matters in this journey is the effort. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. To double the gains, you must triple your effort. There is no short cut in this journey. You either walk the path till the end in the correct way or just stop in the middle of the journey without any other opportunity to change your life. The external factors like age, gender, societal norms, responsibilities, limitations, nothing matters when your will is strong and determined to achieve what is good for you. If, at the age of 40, I am able to do it, why not you? You just need to believe in yourself and be determined towards “Reframing Self”.
“Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”– Unknown
I am grateful and proud to be a woman irrespective of all the criticism and misogyny I have had faced in my life. I am sure all of us would have some people who inspire us, motivate us and play a major role in shaping our life perfectly. But, today being our day, I will talk about only women. I feel women should be celebrated daily and not just a single day. Woman is clothed in strength and dignity. Since years, I have seen people talking about how a woman should be or what are the boundaries for a woman. But am glad that the thinking of the society is changing and women are being given the equal opportunities as men in all fields across the globe. I have never understood the thought of the gender bias in our society. Why do people feel men are superior and in what way? Is there anything that men do and women cannot do? I doubt about it. I personally have got the privilege to have many wonder women in my life who have been the greatest inspiration in helping me become what I am today. Today, 8th March being the special date for all women across the world as we celebrate this day as the International Women’s Day, I would like to talk about few of the most influential and inspiring women I have met in my life. There is no second thought about accepting the fact that these women are the best examples of beauty, strength, courage, love, successful, hard work, independent, resilient and the list of qualities would never end.
The Guiding Force – My Mother (K S Lakshmi)
“She stood in the storm & when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails”. This quote best describes this wonder woman. All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my mother. She has been the best and highest support in my life. I sometimes wonder if I would have been able to do anything without her in my life. Right from my childhood, I have seen her changing herself and her beliefs for us according to the time. During my childhood days, I have seen her putting her responsibilities above her interests, I have seen her giving more importance to relationships than her self-respect, I have seen her putting family before her personal life. Irrespective of all the hurdles, problems and all kind of negative vibes in her life, she always has been the strongest amongst all in the family. I have seen her struggling with her own health but has never given up on her duties. But I always used to wonder how she manages to be so active all the time with a beautiful smile on the face. For me, she always has been a perfect woman who has successfully dealt with all her responsibilities in her life. There has been time when people around her had criticised her, blamed her for no fault of hers, had let her down in many ways but she never left them. The best thing in her is she has a golden heart and has forgiven everyone for all the disappointments they have given her and moved on in life. She is the woman who is my best friend, my teacher, my guide, my philosopher and my whole world. Just thanking her for being my anchor in the stormy sea of my life will not be sufficient. I am blessed to be known as her daughter and she will remain to be my most favourite ever.
The Vivacious Soulmate – My Bestie (Harivardhini)
“Sometimes you get lucky and find a soul that grooves with yours”. A true soul mate is the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. She is that soul mate for me. She is loving, crazy, beautiful, bold, caring, energetic, genius, naughty, hardworking, independent and the list just goes on. By profession, she is the HOD in a reputed Engineering College in Hyderabad. Dr. Harivardhini, as people respectfully call her in her professional network. But for me, she is the most fun-going and the naughtiest girl in our group. She is a person who has been a strong pillar since last many years and has never stopped encouraging me or motivating me in my life. There has been times when I lost confidence in myself but this girl never gave up on me. Though all my friends has always motivated me and supported me, but this girl always has a special place in my heart and life. The reason I respect her so much is her positive attitude towards life. I have never seen her cribbing over anything in her professional or personal life. The way she handles her career, the way she takes care of her duties at home, the way she balances both her professional and personal lives and the equal importance she gives to all her friends is amazing. She starts her day with such a positivity and energy. But the surprising factor is that she will be seen with the same amount of energy and positivity at the end of the day. I cannot surely become like her in wildest of my dreams but I surely try to learn many things from her. She stands as a great inspiration for me and I feel so very proud to say that a strong and successful woman like her is my bestie for life and I am enjoying the privilege of being with her each day of my life. Her love is a strong pillar of my life. I love her so much and I am blessed to have her in my life.
The Facsimile – My Partner in Crime (Swapna)
“Meeting someone very similar is like you both were cut from the same cloth”. The two of us are like non-identical twins, though we look different, we are like single soul in two bodies. Sometimes I really wonder how two people’s thinking is so similar. Swap (That’s how I call her) is a corporate employee and a Fitness Coach by profession. Passion is a great thing which helps you to find the best version of yourselves and also the most similar versions which can be combined together and create magic. The bond between me and Swap is the same. It’s just been few years we have met but it feels like I have known her since ages. The first most common thing in us is our passion and love for dance. There wouldn’t have been anything better than dance to get associated with this girl. Since the moment we met, we have gathered some millions of memories together, be it our dance shoots and events or be it sharing even the small and silly secrets, we both are just the carbon copies of each other. She is a few years younger to me but that has never been a bothering for either of us. I have never enjoyed my journey of dance as much as I have started enjoying it with her since last few years. She is a straight forward, fun-going and a trustworthy friend in my life. She has always been a great motivator for me in many ways. She has not only enjoyed my company at my best but also have handled me in the best possible way during my worst. She is one person who keeps inspiring me with her never die attitude. Irrespective of many hurdles and disturbances, she manages to give her time to all that which makes her happy. The best thing I love about her is she never backs me when am wrong. She will be the first person to tell me on my face that I am doing the wrong thing and she would stop me then and there. It is a blessing to have her as partner in all my crimes and vice-versa. The love and affection I have for her is infinite and there will never be anything that would change this for us.
The Conqueror – My Rockstar Bestie (Annapurna)
“She is a warrior woman. With strength, power and patience, she was all set and dressed. The way she fought on the life’s battleground, even the devils were impressed”. There is nothing stronger than a woman who has rebuilt herself. I have known this woman few years back during my temporary job as a dance instructor in an international school. When I say school, you might think she might be a teacher for some subject, right? If you thought that way, then you are correct partially. She was not a subject teacher but the Swimming instructor for the kids. If I have to describe her with her looks, she is tall and she is healthy. The first impression when people get to know that she is the swimming instructor in the school, many of them have a second thought. I have heard people expressing their doubt if she will be able to teach their kids to swim properly because she doesn’t seem fit herself. Do you really think talent has anything to do with the physical appearance at all? If so, many great sportspersons might not be successful. She is an amazing person loaded with bunch of talents within her, yet ground to earth. She had started learning swimming in her 30s and since then made it her passion and profession both. Not only she teaches swimming in school, but also has won many national and international championships in swimming and made our country proud overseas. She has been awarded with so many awards and titles for her achievements. I have known her story, her failures, her learnings, her hurdles, her hard work and her success. Believe me, it was never less than a roller coaster. But what thrills me is how this woman has always ignored all such negative vibes around her and just went ahead in her life with all the commitment and dedication. Her never give up attitude is a huge inspiration. I have seen her struggling to prove her talent with all men around in the so called male dominated sports domain. I have seen her bearing all that with a lovely smile on her face all the time. For me, she is no less than a warrior and I would not think twice in giving her that heartful salute for inspiring me and many other women like me to fight back in life. “Work hard in silence and let your success make the noise”. She has proved this to be true in her life. Recently, she has won 3 medals in the India – Sri Lanka International Meet held in Sri Lanka and made our country proud yet again. She is the true example of woman power and what better occasion can we have to let the world know what a woman can achieve in life. I am blessed and super proud to have known such a talented woman and call her as my bestie for life.
The Impeccable Artist – My Mentor (Lalitha Mam)
“A woman that is patient has the ability to endure provocation, pain, annoyance, etc, with much calm and strength”. I started believing this when I met Lalitha Mam and started to know her better. I had got the privilege to work under her guidance as a Dance instructor. But she is much beyond my guide. She is a soft, kind hearted, patient and an amazing woman. She is a trained and professional classical dancer, choreographer and guru. She is one person I have come across with so much of patience. I have never seen her loosing her temper for anything. She has faced many hurdles in her life but with all her calmness and stable mind, she has been handling her professional and personal life in a wonderful way. There is so much to learn from her but I am not sure if I can be even 50% of what she is. Though I worked with her for a very short time, she definitely will be my mentor for life. She has always pushed me to fight with my weaknesses and helped me improve myself all the time. She has always shown the concern towards me and helped me to realize my self-worth. I do not have the fate to learn dance under her and be her student but at least I have got the privilege to feel that honour couple of times. A thank you would not be sufficient to express how much I respect her and what she means to me. But definitely I would like to take the opportunity through this dedication on a very special occasion of Women’s Day to convey my heartful gratitude for all the support and guidance she has been giving me and inspiring me to be a better person every time. Thank you so much Lalitha Mam for everything. It is a great blessing to have known and be with someone so talented and kind hearted like you.
The Warrior – My Brave Friend (Bhargavi)
“She is a true warrior and you can see it in her eyes. She was not born strong; she was made strong. She was sculped to be her own hero when the world lets her down and she keeps picking herself back up”. This is the inspired story of one of my very close college friends Bhargavi. The girl I knew back in college was a bubbly, funny, caring and a lovely girl with loads of knowledge and talent. I was sure that this girl will definitely do wonders in her life as she was multitalented and an amazing person to be with. Her journey has never been easy and may not be even as expected. She has faced many hurdles and heart-breaks in her life but she has single-handedly faced them and stood strong as a warrior. I have seen her struggling physically and emotionally. But the way she has handled her life and her kids is unbelievable. At every stage, she has stood for herself and her kids like a fighter and never allowed her weakness or the low situations come in her way. With every phase of her life, she has been inspiring me with her courage and fighting spirit. For me, she is a true woman and a true warrior. She is the best example of how a woman is and should be. Her never give up attitude has earned huge respect from me. I always admired her for the kind of lovely girl she was but now I respect her whole heartedly for the brave woman she has become. I cannot be with her physically to support her and stand by her during her difficult times but emotionally I will always be there for her and she knows that. Women like her are the real sheroes of the world. Kudos to your brave soul and kind heart Bhargavi.
